In Singapore marriage is considered a beautify relationship that binds two souls who have love and compassion in their hearts. FamilyRootsOrganizer is strong advocate of the fact that having someone in your life gives you the peace of mind that you have the support and love your need in order to succeed and live a healthy life.
Well, most of the time it happens that people in Singapore find someone who can offer them such things, but, also some of the time it happens that people don’t get these things from their spouse and after a particular time period, they get separated from each other.
While, this is the huge steps that any person will take in his/her life because no matter there have been years or few months in their marriage, but they are emotionally attached to each other so that they cannot take this thing quite easily.
Now the question might pop up in someone’s mind that why then people get divorced if it is quite a painful thing to do for them. So, for the answer to this question, we are here going to tell you about 5 common causes of divorce in Singapore.
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Marriage is the approved social pattern whereby two to more persons establish a family. It involves not only the right to conceive and rear children, but also a host of other obligation and privileges affecting a good many people.
The real meaning of marriage is the acceptance of a new status, with a new set of privileges and obligations, and the recognition of this new status by others. A legal marriage legitimizes a social status and creates a set of legally recognized rights and duties.
Marriage is one of the oldest socially recognized institution and essential for the procreation of children and satisfaction of our sexual urges. In different societies there are different methods of marriage. Some of the societies allow a male to marry only a single female whereas in other societies a husband is allowed to have more than one wife. Similarly some societies will not allow a woman to have more than one husband whereas other societies will not mind a woman having more than one husband. In some cases the parent arranges the marriage whereas in others the boys and girls arrange their marriage.
Definition of Marriage: Marriageis a term for social relationships of husband and wife or of plural mates. Also used for the ceremony of uniting marital partners.
It refers to the finding of spouse by man and woman. There are two methods given as :
- Exogamy: When a person marries outside one’s group, caste, religion, class or race. It is attributed as exogamy. In the modern times this marriage is mostly in practice.
- Endogamy: When a person marries inside one’s group, caste, religion, class or race. It is known as endogamy. This kind of marriage is practice mostly in the rural areas of Pakistan, Afghanistan.
Form of Marriage
Different societies have different views for the social recognition and approval of marriage. That is the reason why we find different of marriages. The main types of marriage are given below:
- Monogamy: One person is allowed to marry once.
- Polygamy: Person ( man or woman ) is allowed to marry more than once.
- Polygyny: A husband is permitted to have more than one wife at one time.
- Polyandry: A woman marries to more than one man at a time .
- Fraternal polyandry: When a woman is considered and treated as the wife of all the brothers living in the family and the offspring is considered to be the son/daughter of the eldest brother.
- Non-fraternal polyandry: In this form a woman is supposed to have more than one husband.
- Group marriage: The brothers are required to marry with the sisters living together.
- Experimental marriage: In such a marriage the couple should be allowed to come together and freely mix and meet to understand each other before their marriage.
- Inter caste marriage: A man marries a woman with in a caste. Like in India.
- Anuloma: When the men of higher castes are allowed to marry the women of lower castes is called anuloma.
- Pratiloma: When the women of higher castes marry to the men of lower castes are called Pratiloma.
- Hyper-gamy & hypo-gamy: A man belonging to the nobility is allowed to marry a woman of lower social status is called Hyper-gamy. But when a woman of higher social status is marrying a man of lower social status is called Hypo-gamy.
- Sororate marriage: If the wife is died. After the death, the husband marries this deceased wife’s sister.
- Levirate marriage: When the husband is died. After the death the wife marries her deceased husband’s brother.
- Marriage by elopement: If a boy and girl run away and marry against the choice of their parents. They marry either in court or other place.
- Compassionate Marriage: The dissolution of marriage by mutual consents, due to having no children.
- Arranged Marriage: The marriage, which is arranged by the consent of both sides parent.
- Love Marriage: The system under which the youngsters themselves select their life partners is called love marriage.
- Swara Marriage: It’s a common marriage in Pukhtoon society.
Functions of Marriage
- Social Recognition: Marriage gives social recognition to all sexual relationships, which otherwise would have many social problems. Marriage alone makes the society accept the relationship of boy and girl, as husband and wife.
- Procreation of Children: Then another function of the marriage is to have legitimate children; The children born as a result of socially recognized marriage are accepted by the society as legitimate and legal heirs to the property and other assets of the family.
- Sense of Sympathy: After the marriage alone the husband and wife and their children develop a sense of sympathy for each other and they begin to share each other’s joys and sorrows. They sacrifice for the sake of each other.
- Basis of Family: Then another function of marriage is that it is the basis of family life. As we all know that after marriage family comes into being and with that the virtues of all the family life emerge in the society.
- Stability in Relationship: After marriage alone relationships come into being e.g. the relationship of husband and wife, son or daughter, father in law and mother in law or that of grandfather and grandmother etc. these relations get stabilized with the passage of time but only after marriage but not before marriage.
- Perpetuation of Lineage: It is after marriage that there is desire to perpetuate the name of the family. The children perpetuate the names of their parents and then come grandchildren, great grand children etc. After some time then there is a desire to perpetuate the lineage of the family and it at any stage in the family there are no offshoots, then every effort is made to have then, so that the name of the family continues.
In this way each family has very important and basic functions to perform. Without these functions our whole social system would failed and would resulting many social problems. Then marriage alone has helped in maintaing high moral standards of which any society can really feel proud.
One of the biggest reasons that you will find as the cause of divorce is infidelity. This thing determines the activity of cheating your spouse on someone. Since it is obvious that every person that gets married vows to spend the rest of his/her life with that person only. He/she takes some vows according to which he/she will never leave his/her spouse, will never hurt him/her and also not let him/her alone in any situation. Well, this thing happens to almost every person but in some cases, people get into infidelity due to which their relationship does not work out.
Well, the divorce step in the case of infidelity does not take by the person who is cheating, but by the person that is being cheated by that person. In this case, when the other person finds out that his/her spouse is involved with any other person and he/she is cheated on me, then he/she does not want to live with that person anymore and he/she claims the divorce to get apart.
2. Money And Finances
Another one of the biggest elements that become the cause of divorce between two people is money. Well, money is the most basic need that every person wants to have in his life. There is nothing can be done in a real-life if a person doesn’t have money in Singapore. Although the financial status varies from one another if we say that a person had survived in his/her life without money in his/her hand, then it is totally wrong.
Well, in the case of marriage, money and financial status play an important role. If a person, especially man, is financially strong, then his woman will go far with him by living happily, but if the status goes down by any reason, then there is a huge chance that she does not want to live without that person and she get divorce from him. Additionally, this thing applies on the man, like if a person has a figure in his mind that his wife will get with her in her account and she will make him as the caretaker of that amount, then the man will consider that lady, but if she finds out after some time that the things those he was expecting from her, will not be fulfilled in any case, then he gets himself apart from her. In such cases, the relationships are meant to be materialistic instead of emotional.
3. Lack of Communication
According to resaerch conducted by FamilyRootsOrganizer every relationship is built on effective communication. If you are do not talk a lot with a person to whom you have some kind of relationship, then you will not be able to take it way too far.
The same thing happens in the case of marriage. This relationship in Singapore highly needs to build effective communication to make it strong. Both husband and wife need to talk to each other on different topics and spend quality time with each other. When this thing does not happen, then there appear clashes between both of them. Both people feel mental differences from each and they don’t get a proper time to make their relationship strong. This is the reason that they end up being divorced and get separated from each other.
4. Lack of Intimacy
Sex is also another one of the most important things that makes a relationship stronger. We at FamilyRootsOrganizer believe if your spouse is not sexually fit as you are, then you will not be able to handle the relationship because every person has some particular sexual needs. If they are being fulfilled, then you will definitely a source by which you can get make these needs fulfilled.
This is the reason that when a person between husband or wife, feels lack of intimacy, then you will alternately end up to be divorced, and find any other person with which you are fully satisfied.
5. Abuse: Physical Or Mental
Abusing is also quite an essential thing that become the reason of divorce between two people. No matter, it is sexual abuse, emotional abuse, or any kind of physical abuse, no person can bear it for a long time. In this case, he/she will alternately take an action and demand for divorce or permanent separation.
How getting relationship therapy can help save the relationship?
Well, everything in this world has some kind of therapy for the betterment and improvement in that thing. If you are depressed or get anxiety attacks, then you will definitely get a proper therapy session, to get rid of it. Similarly, there is also a relationship therapy that helps you out to run your relationship better.
FamilyRootsOrganizer therapies help you out to understand the positive aspects of your relationship and give it a chance to work out. They encourage you to give your relationship a chance and try to make it better by changing your attitude or tackling the other person’s behavior.
So, make sure to have the relationship therapy if you are involved in any of this situation and give your marriage a chance instead of divorce.
Three Signs of A Successful Marriage
My husband and I were together for eight years before we got married. You would think we would have known everything about one another by then. We thought we did too. That is, until a middle-aged man grilled us on every aspect of our future marriage, from babies to death.
We chose to be married in the Catholic church, so Pre-Cana (a premarital counseling course and consultation for couples) is mandatory. We knew this was the case, and I was actually pretty excited about it. For me, it meant I could discuss concrete things in our future without bringing it up myself—or freaking him out.
If I’m being honest, I think I also secretly harbored dreams of the aforementioned middle-aged man telling us we’ve done it—we have the perfect relationship! We would leave with baby names and a certificate that read “Your Marriage Is Guaranteed to Last Forever.” A little over a year into marriage, I now realize: There’s no such thing as perfect or guarantees, but there is such a thing as being as prepared as you can be. I can’t think of a better reason to be the latter when the stakes are love, happiness and, oh you know, the rest of your life.
1. In which areas would you like to help your fiancé improve?
Oh yeah, they start you out with just straight up critiquing your significant other. Only you have to communicate it delicately and truthfully, which is a lesson in itself.
2. What are some matters about which the two of you have different opinions?
What?! You can discuss the elephants in the room, and your entire relationship won’t disintegrate?!
3. If both have careers, whose job determines where you will live?
Whoa. That’s a doozy. We tackled this one with less of a definitive answer (think: “my job determines where we’ll go”) and decided this would be something we would face together and would involve weighing several other factors.
It felt more like a lesson in teamwork. A lot of the premarriage counseling questions had a side benefit to them. After this one in particular, we both felt we could conquer something like this together and agreed, at that moment, to do so.
4. What do you usually fight about and when do you usually fight?
Somehow I never really saw the pattern until we answered this question, but it was there all along. There were some pretty stupid things I was getting mad about, and usually it was when these little things built up over time that the fights happened.
Just realizing this has helped eliminate issues that could’ve ended up causing a real strain on our relationship. Dumb arguments will always be a thing as long as I am a part of any relationship, but at least now my husband sees them coming and can identify the solution quickly.
5. If you should be unable to have your own, would you adopt a child?
Nothing is off-limits in premarital counseling. Instead of shying away from topics like infertility, you face them head-on, which alleviates much of the tension and fear on the topic.
6. On your deathbed, what would sum up your life as worthwhile? What would give meaning to your life?
Being someone’s partner is so much more than just “you cook; I clean.” It’s lifting them up and helping them have a fulfilling life. What I learned in premarriage counseling:
First step: Admitting you’re not the ultimate fulfillment for your fiancé’s life.
Second step: Finding out what else is and doing everything in your power to give that to your partner.
Third step: Be on the receiving end of step one and two.
7. What do you intend to do to stay in love?
Turns out Netflix and chill is only a piece of the formula to permanent, lasting love. Our counselor told us that his wife and him dance together every day. Even when they’re furious at one another, they spend five minutes dancing in their kitchen. It reminds them of why they married one another in the first place. It sounds like it’s straight out of a Nicholas Sparks novel, but I swear it’s what he said!
Instead of waiting around and hoping that "staying in love" happens, premarriage counseling made us start planning on how to stay in love—while we were still engaged. Hard conversations and trying times will always be something we face, but after just a few hours in front of a counselor, we felt more equipped to face them. More importantly, we felt more confident that we can face them together.