In Singapore marriage is considered a beautify relationship that binds two souls who have love and compassion in their hearts. FamilyRootsOrganizer is strong advocate of the fact that having someone in your life gives you the peace of mind that you have the support and love your need in order to succeed and live a healthy life.
Well, most of the time it happens that people in Singapore find someone who can offer them such things, but, also some of the time it happens that people don’t get these things from their spouse and after a particular time period, they get separated from each other.
While, this is the huge steps that any person will take in his/her life because no matter there have been years or few months in their marriage, but they are emotionally attached to each other so that they cannot take this thing quite easily.
Now the question might pop up in someone’s mind that why then people get divorced if it is quite a painful thing to do for them. So, for the answer to this question, we are here going to tell you about 5 common causes of divorce in Singapore.
Married to a Passive Aggressive Person and What to Do
All relationships go through phases and have their ups and downs, but there are many situational and relationship issues that can benefit from couples counseling. Life's stresses - from a sudden death to unexpected or extended unemployment, or even the joyous arrival of a new family member in the house - all can take their toll on the best of relationships. It's often not the event itself, but how people react to it individually and as a couple. Instead of pulling together, couples can pull apart as one or both withdraw or turn the stress into anger.
Marriage counseling can help each individual handle the stress, identify the dynamics that are pulling the relationship apart, and enable the couple to emerge from the situation as a team. It can also address crisis situations such as infidelity or substance abuse.
Even in healthy relationships, it can be common for couples to lose their connection with one another and drift apart. This is a normal cycle that can often be corrected without outside help, but when unaddressed for a prolonged period, or fueled by underlying issues in the relationship, it can easily mushroom and become difficult to turn around.
Marriage counseling can uncover the reasons for pulling apart - from communication issues and unresolved conflict, to unmet needs or unrealistic expectations - and teach communications specific to the couple, assist in conflict resolution, and shine a light on unfulfilled needs or the destructive influence of unrealistic expectations. Marriage therapy can help you find your way back and reconnect with that person you once fell in love with.
Often couples come to therapy when they are desperate, as a last resort, when the relationship is in jeopardy. This is understandable for many reasons. Often one person will want therapy while their partner has doubts. Also, it is not uncommon to feel embarrassed, or think that the problems will go away in time. However, relationship problems are more easily resolved when they are acknowledged before the stage when both partners bicker constantly, can barely tolerate the other's presence or worse, just don't care anymore.
While many couples make a mutual decision to seek counseling, it is often one partner who initiates with the other following reluctantly, anticipating that all of their behaviors will be attacked and no compromises will be made by their partner, especially when there are issues such as infidelity or substance abuse. It is also common for men to fear that a female counselor will take the woman's side. The counselor's role is not to take sides, but to champion the couple and each partner, and ensure that both are heard.
Effective marriage counseling requires compromise and a willingness to change. Changes may be different ways of interacting within the relationship, or individual changes relating to the behavior of one or both partners - ideally both partners, but even if only one partner is willing to change, it can have a positive impact on the relationship.
If your partner is reluctant to come in, consider coming to therapy alone, as this is likely to affect change in your relationship. It is not unusual for people to join their partners in therapy because they feel less threatened, have more hope, don't want to be left out, or they're just plain curious.
The dynamics of your relationship are complex. A marriage counselor will not make decisions about fault - assigning blame is never a part of good therapy. Instead, their role is to be non-judgmental while facilitating better communication between you and your partner, and helping explore your concerns productively. While most couples seek help to repair or strengthen their relationship, others make the decision to separate. Therapy can also be beneficial in these instances to minimize the negative impact on each individual, and address the underlying issues in order to minimize their effect on future relationships.
Common areas addressed by marriage therapy and couples counseling include:
- Frequent Fighting
- Not feeling close/feeling emotionally disconnected
- Commitment Issues, i.e. infidelity
- Parenting Disagreements
- Sexuality, i.e. loss of desire
- Physical illness of self or partner
- Abuse (verbal or physical)
- Financial Worries/Extended Unemployment/Money Conflicts
- Grief and Loss
- Extended Family Challenges
- Bi-Cultural Differences
- Life Transitions, i.e. job change, retirement
- Alternative Lifestyle Issues
- Divorce Mediation
One of the biggest reasons that you will find as the cause of divorce is infidelity. This thing determines the activity of cheating your spouse on someone. Since it is obvious that every person that gets married vows to spend the rest of his/her life with that person only. He/she takes some vows according to which he/she will never leave his/her spouse, will never hurt him/her and also not let him/her alone in any situation. Well, this thing happens to almost every person but in some cases, people get into infidelity due to which their relationship does not work out.
Well, the divorce step in the case of infidelity does not take by the person who is cheating, but by the person that is being cheated by that person. In this case, when the other person finds out that his/her spouse is involved with any other person and he/she is cheated on me, then he/she does not want to live with that person anymore and he/she claims the divorce to get apart.
2. Money And Finances
Another one of the biggest elements that become the cause of divorce between two people is money. Well, money is the most basic need that every person wants to have in his life. There is nothing can be done in a real-life if a person doesn’t have money in Singapore. Although the financial status varies from one another if we say that a person had survived in his/her life without money in his/her hand, then it is totally wrong.
Well, in the case of marriage, money and financial status play an important role. If a person, especially man, is financially strong, then his woman will go far with him by living happily, but if the status goes down by any reason, then there is a huge chance that she does not want to live without that person and she get divorce from him. Additionally, this thing applies on the man, like if a person has a figure in his mind that his wife will get with her in her account and she will make him as the caretaker of that amount, then the man will consider that lady, but if she finds out after some time that the things those he was expecting from her, will not be fulfilled in any case, then he gets himself apart from her. In such cases, the relationships are meant to be materialistic instead of emotional.
3. Lack of Communication
According to resaerch conducted by FamilyRootsOrganizer every relationship is built on effective communication. If you are do not talk a lot with a person to whom you have some kind of relationship, then you will not be able to take it way too far.
The same thing happens in the case of marriage. This relationship in Singapore highly needs to build effective communication to make it strong. Both husband and wife need to talk to each other on different topics and spend quality time with each other. When this thing does not happen, then there appear clashes between both of them. Both people feel mental differences from each and they don’t get a proper time to make their relationship strong. This is the reason that they end up being divorced and get separated from each other.
4. Lack of Intimacy
Sex is also another one of the most important things that makes a relationship stronger. We at FamilyRootsOrganizer believe if your spouse is not sexually fit as you are, then you will not be able to handle the relationship because every person has some particular sexual needs. If they are being fulfilled, then you will definitely a source by which you can get make these needs fulfilled.
This is the reason that when a person between husband or wife, feels lack of intimacy, then you will alternately end up to be divorced, and find any other person with which you are fully satisfied.
5. Abuse: Physical Or Mental
Abusing is also quite an essential thing that become the reason of divorce between two people. No matter, it is sexual abuse, emotional abuse, or any kind of physical abuse, no person can bear it for a long time. In this case, he/she will alternately take an action and demand for divorce or permanent separation.
How getting relationship therapy can help save the relationship?
Well, everything in this world has some kind of therapy for the betterment and improvement in that thing. If you are depressed or get anxiety attacks, then you will definitely get a proper therapy session, to get rid of it. Similarly, there is also a relationship therapy that helps you out to run your relationship better.
FamilyRootsOrganizer therapies help you out to understand the positive aspects of your relationship and give it a chance to work out. They encourage you to give your relationship a chance and try to make it better by changing your attitude or tackling the other person’s behavior.
So, make sure to have the relationship therapy if you are involved in any of this situation and give your marriage a chance instead of divorce.
Verbal Emotional Abuse
Difficult to Escape Relationships
Some people have a habit of getting themselves into relationships they can't escape from. Things may have taken the turn for the worst and due to the their partners possessive nature find it very difficult to break up or end the relationship. In these situations attempting to break up may result in, threats, embarrassing scenes in public, acts of violence of even vandalism.
Some men may not have the heart to shout "Get out of my life you crazy ***** "
I think if the warning signs for possessive women are spotted earlier, it will be easier to deal with later on down the line. This kind of thing can really lower a man's self esteem and can leave one feeling week and helpless. It can also jeopardize future relationships by making you extra sensitive to your partners actions.
Some people are pressured into believing that themselves (the victim) is actually in the wrong. They will start to believe that if they do the right things in a relationship there will be no need for outrageous acts of jealously. This seems more like brain washing and is obviously not the ingredients of a healthy relationship.
When it comes to physical abuse from a possessive women it can be very awkward for a man who would be physically stronger than a woman in most cases. A man may need to retain himself from lashing out and causing a women physical harm or injury due to the difference in strength and size. If a women attacks a man like a wild beast it may be difficult to restrict her without some form a painful restraint whether it be twisting the arms in a painful way or a slap across the face. Many men will not want to take that risk.
The tell tale signs
1. Wants to read your text messages frequently - First of all that is a complete lack of trust, secondly she needs to understand privacy. Just because most people are reluctant to show their partners their messages doesn't mean they are hiding anything. Everyone needs privacy to some extent.
2. Threats - Nobody should ever threaten somebody for leaving a relationship, it's a sign of mental insecurity, get out off there because it will get worse.
3. Outbursts in public - Others do not need to know about your problems, this is similar to a threat. i.e. If you try to break up and I will make noise in public and embarrass you!
4. Physical abuse - Most women are not as strong as men so in some cases an object or even a weapon may be used when boiled up. Normally a woman or man will have let off verbal abuse and this stage, but physical abuse in anyway is not acceptable. Don't think of this as a one-off because it will escalate.
5. Physically blocking your exit - By restricting your freedom this shows obsession to some extent, especially when it's met with physical violence when you try to force yourself out.
6. Destruction of possessions - Similar to a threat. Normally if a woman is having a hard time with you she wouldn't be interested in smashing up your brand new flat-screen TV or cracking your Smartphone screen. This is a time to escape.
7. Keeping you hostage- similar to no. 5. you may be locked in a room while she holds on to the key or blocking all possible exits demanding answers.
8. Abuse any of your female contacts - Jealousy, some women may not be able to accept the fact that you have female friends or associates and may go behind your back to try and spoil the relationships.
9. Forcing you to give up female friends - A big no, enough trust should have been built in a relationship for you to comfortably accept the fact that one can have friends of the opposite sex.
10. Being made to call at a certain time every day - What, is she a parole officer keeping tabs on you?. Where's the flexibility, freedom? A big tell tale sign.
Of course the above can be apply for the opposite - Possessive guy, and other people may have some further suggestions or tips for spotting these type of people.
Weather it's the man or the woman, domestic violence can be a very big issues and can lead to serious injuries or even death in some cases. Understand that it's not the attacker doing the killing, it's often the attack killed in self defense and often hard to prove to the police. Different countries and very different rules and rules to other countries. We don't all have the infamous "Stand your ground" law.
A lot of these so called possessive behaviours stem from emotions due to problems in the relationship.
For example, for most of the crazy partners you come across, the crazyness may normally arise after things have gone wrong in the relationship. If you look back at the beginning of the relationship you will probably be thinking "How can a person change so much?". In that respect I may be difficult to say if the crazy behaviour is actually part of their personality or simply influenced by emotion.
A broken heart can turn people in something they are not, e.g. a criminal or a killer. However at the end of the day, law is law no matter what provoked your emotions.
In Japan you will rarely see couples arguing in public, they tend to do their best, hold it in and wait until they get home. However in China I have witnessed many an argument or fight in public, with the women often physically attacking the man. Korea seemed to be much similar to China where people may let us their emotions and feeling no matter where and who is around. The Japanese tend to be a little more concerned about making a disturbance in public, but not all Japanese though. Very occasionally you will see somebody just lose it in public.
- A guy glanced at another woman's legs while with his girlfriend. She slapped him in public and made him write an apology letter to her, with an explanation that he wont do it again.
- Some women have secretly set up good GPS tracking on their spouses smart phone and sync'd it to their own so they can track the whereabouts's any time
- I know a case where a couple has an argument in a bar and the boyfriend decided to take a bus alone by himself. The girlfriend actually drove her car in front of the bus and forced it to stop while she exited the car, entered the bus and demanded him to get into her car.
- Some men I know are not allowed to keep secret diaries, safe (boxes) etc. and their spouse must share the same Email passwords.