Eunos Marriage Guidance

Have been trying to resolve the issues between your parents? Are you unable to understand and meet the demands of your partner that is causing issues? Are you going through a toxic relationship which is causing mental and physical problems? Is it getting hard for you to manage your relationship with your friends in Eunos because of busy routine?

Well, you are not the only one dealing with these problems in Eunos. There are many people who are going through the same phase. You will be surprised to know that it is the main cause of depression and stress in many people. However, an important thing you need to understand is that mistake happens from both sides and you have to resolve them together.

marital relationship counseling

Three Signs of A Successful Marriage

What happens most of the time is that after suffering for so many years by the hands of someone close, dear, or loved ones; our way of behaving with others and overall attitude, gets a bit aggressive and loud towards small things and issues. We start to react harshly over normal things and when we get a reaction from others, we end up with feeling that no one understand us and everyone is trying to hurt us, but in reality it is our behavior that is causing all the disturbance. Don’t consider it just for romantic relationship but it can be between you and your parents, siblings, and friends. However, there is also no doubt that romantic relationship failure gives us the biggest heartaches.

Difficult to Escape Relationships

Some people have a habit of getting themselves into relationships they can't escape from. Things may have taken the turn for the worst and due to the their partners possessive nature find it very difficult to break up or end the relationship. In these situations attempting to break up may result in, threats, embarrassing scenes in public, acts of violence of even vandalism.

Some men may not have the heart to shout "Get out of my life you crazy ***** "

I think if the warning signs for possessive women are spotted earlier, it will be easier to deal with later on down the line. This kind of thing can really lower a man's self esteem and can leave one feeling week and helpless. It can also jeopardize future relationships by making you extra sensitive to your partners actions.

Some people are pressured into believing that themselves (the victim) is actually in the wrong. They will start to believe that if they do the right things in a relationship there will be no need for outrageous acts of jealously. This seems more like brain washing and is obviously not the ingredients of a healthy relationship.

When it comes to physical abuse from a possessive women it can be very awkward for a man who would be physically stronger than a woman in most cases. A man may need to retain himself from lashing out and causing a women physical harm or injury due to the difference in strength and size. If a women attacks a man like a wild beast it may be difficult to restrict her without some form a painful restraint whether it be twisting the arms in a painful way or a slap across the face. Many men will not want to take that risk.

The tell tale signs

1. Wants to read your text messages frequently - First of all that is a complete lack of trust, secondly she needs to understand privacy. Just because most people are reluctant to show their partners their messages doesn't mean they are hiding anything. Everyone needs privacy to some extent.

2. Threats - Nobody should ever threaten somebody for leaving a relationship, it's a sign of mental insecurity, get out off there because it will get worse.

3. Outbursts in public - Others do not need to know about your problems, this is similar to a threat. i.e. If you try to break up and I will make noise in public and embarrass you!

4. Physical abuse - Most women are not as strong as men so in some cases an object or even a weapon may be used when boiled up. Normally a woman or man will have let off verbal abuse and this stage, but physical abuse in anyway is not acceptable. Don't think of this as a one-off because it will escalate.

5. Physically blocking your exit - By restricting your freedom this shows obsession to some extent, especially when it's met with physical violence when you try to force yourself out.

6. Destruction of possessions - Similar to a threat. Normally if a woman is having a hard time with you she wouldn't be interested in smashing up your brand new flat-screen TV or cracking your Smartphone screen. This is a time to escape.

7. Keeping you hostage- similar to no. 5. you may be locked in a room while she holds on to the key or blocking all possible exits demanding answers.

8. Abuse any of your female contacts - Jealousy, some women may not be able to accept the fact that you have female friends or associates and may go behind your back to try and spoil the relationships.

9. Forcing you to give up female friends - A big no, enough trust should have been built in a relationship for you to comfortably accept the fact that one can have friends of the opposite sex.

10. Being made to call at a certain time every day - What, is she a parole officer keeping tabs on you?. Where's the flexibility, freedom? A big tell tale sign.

Of course the above can be apply for the opposite - Possessive guy, and other people may have some further suggestions or tips for spotting these type of people.

The Dangers

Weather it's the man or the woman, domestic violence can be a very big issues and can lead to serious injuries or even death in some cases. Understand that it's not the attacker doing the killing, it's often the attack killed in self defense and often hard to prove to the police. Different countries and very different rules and rules to other countries. We don't all have the infamous "Stand your ground" law.

A lot of these so called possessive behaviours stem from emotions due to problems in the relationship.

For example, for most of the crazy partners you come across, the crazyness may normally arise after things have gone wrong in the relationship. If you look back at the beginning of the relationship you will probably be thinking "How can a person change so much?". In that respect I may be difficult to say if the crazy behaviour is actually part of their personality or simply influenced by emotion.

A broken heart can turn people in something they are not, e.g. a criminal or a killer. However at the end of the day, law is law no matter what provoked your emotions.

In Japan you will rarely see couples arguing in public, they tend to do their best, hold it in and wait until they get home. However in China I have witnessed many an argument or fight in public, with the women often physically attacking the man. Korea seemed to be much similar to China where people may let us their emotions and feeling no matter where and who is around. The Japanese tend to be a little more concerned about making a disturbance in public, but not all Japanese though. Very occasionally you will see somebody just lose it in public.


True Stories

  • A guy glanced at another woman's legs while with his girlfriend. She slapped him in public and made him write an apology letter to her, with an explanation that he wont do it again.
  • Some women have secretly set up good GPS tracking on their spouses smart phone and sync'd it to their own so they can track the whereabouts's any time
  • I know a case where a couple has an argument in a bar and the boyfriend decided to take a bus alone by himself. The girlfriend actually drove her car in front of the bus and forced it to stop while she exited the car, entered the bus and demanded him to get into her car.
  • Some men I know are not allowed to keep secret diaries, safe (boxes) etc. and their spouse must share the same Email passwords.

counselling before getting married

In all these situations, after back to back failed relationship issues and suffering from heartaches, you end up feeling mentally unstable. You find hard time in coping up with your daily routine or you simply cannot stop thinking negative about the world, its people, and whatever is happening around you in a negative manner.

What you can do in this regard?
Well, you need someone there for you to help you coping with the anxiety, depression, and this continuous sour of feeling down and dismayed. YOU NEED US!

“We are the best relationship therapists in the world to help you dealing with general and severe relationship issues caused by yours or others’ actions”.

Relationship therapy that’s also known as couples therapy, marriage, therapy, or relationship issues therapy; is an attempt to help you make an improvement in your relationships, specifically romantic ones, by resolving conflicts, issues, and misconception, occurred due to mistakes and misunderstandings.

Marriage Counseling Tips

There is no exact or required time to ask for and get relationship therapy until you find yourself in a mess that requires to be cleaned. Moreover, when you don’t want the problem to get worse, you need an expert advice, a helping hand, to go through the conflict and resolve it without damaging your relationship.

• Before and After a Marriage In Eunos :
Moreover, you can ask for a relationship therapy before and after your marriage because it is a legal relationship and failed marriages won’t only cause depression and anxiety in the spouse, but it can even become the cause of you losing all of your income while competing in a family court against your spouse while filing for Divorce/Separation.

• When You Want To End A Relationship In A Less-Disturbing Way:
Moreover, you can also ask for a relationship therapy when you feel so nagged and downed by a failed infidel relationship. When you don’t want your mental health to fall apart and you also don’t want to end the relationship like this. The responsible behavior is that even if you both don’t mean to stay together, still finish the relationship in a way that won’t be toxic for anyone of you.

• When You See Your Kid Is Suffering From Mental Issues Because of the Conflicts Between You Two:
Furthermore, if you have been into a relationship where your kids are being suffered due to the conflicts between you and your partner, they will get mentally disrobed. Remember, you both are special for each other and watching other suffer is a suffering for yourselves. Even if you don’t show it to them, kids are sensitive and sharp, they sense the tension in the atmosphere and feel it to the end. Most of the time, instead of talking about it, they start getting isolated and here is when the overall problem starts. Here, again you need help from an expert therapist to help your kid coming back to his or her track. It doesn’t matter that your all kids would suffer the same, however the sensitive one requires your help the most.

problems of premarital relationship

• When You Have Suffered Through an Abusive Relationship
A toxic relationship, either it gives you sexual abuse, emotional abuse, or physical abuse; it leaves some after effects on you and you start to take things in a very different way which most of the time is not healthy. Here you need to talk to expert therapists on your ex-relationship and the problems associated to it. Remember, it is not end of your life. The life never ends until you die. Therefore, one toxic relationship doesn’t mean you should stop asking for love. However, before getting into involved with someone else, you will have to get rid of all the abusiveness in your veins and heart caused by it. This is when you need to go to a relationship therapist so that you can accept and start your new relation in a better and healthier manner.

• When you need Serious Mental Help:
Most of the time a suffering through Communication Problems Sex and Sexuality, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), Adjustment issues, and Bipolar Disorder (BPD) requires serious and immediate help or else the after-effects can be worst and require a huge time in resolving issues. This can end up in failed marriages, failed relationships, and successful attempts of suicide. When you don’t want this to happen, you need to bring the sufferers to us and let our experts in Eunos deal with them.

Online Counseling For Couples

It's All About Him!

If you are dating a narcissistic man, then you probably realise by now that your life is inconsequential to him.

Nothing is ever about you, it is all about him.

Narcissists are master manipulators who don’t have a grip on reality.

They are distrusting, suspicious, abusive and controlling of their partners.

Often living in a state of denial, narcissists may also be suffering from mental health problems, aside from their personality disorder.

This can lead to them being psychologically unstable. Over a period of time, you may even begin to sense that they are 'not normal.' Their reactions will appear totally alien to you.

When confronted about their behaviour, the narcissist is never at fault. It will always be your fault. They fail to realise that there will inevitably be consequences for their bad behaviour. As they are never in the wrong, you must be the one to blame.

Be prepared for drama, drama and more drama!

Dating a narcissistic man is a rollercoaster of emotions.

Diagnosing NPD

Narcissistic Personality Disorder Symptoms

Clinical diagnosis of Narcissistic Personality Disorder requires five or more of the following traits to be exhibited:

  1. Has a grandiose sense of self- importance (e.g. exaggerates achievements and talents, expects to be recognized as superior without commensurate achievements)
  2. Is preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love.
  3. Believes that he or she is "special" and unique and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or high-status people (or institutions).
  4. Requires excessive admiration.
  5. Has a sense of entitlement, i.e., unreasonable expectations of especially favourable treatment or automatic compliance with his or her expectations.
  6. Is interpersonally exploitative, i.e., takes advantage of others to achieve his or her own ends.
  7. Lacks empathy: is unwilling to recognize or identify with the feelings and needs of others.
  8. Is often envious of others or believes that others are envious of him or her
  9. Shows arrogant, haughty behaviors or attitudes.

Cluster B Personality Disorders

  • Antisocial Personality Disorder

    Exhibits a pattern of disregard for, and violation of, the rights of others.

  • Borderline Personality Disorder

    Exhibits a pattern of instability in interpersonal relationships, self-image, and affects, and marked impulsivity.

  • Histrionic Personality Disorder

    Exhibits a pattern of excessive emotionality and attention seeking.

  • Narcissistic Personality Disorder

    Exhibits a pattern of grandiosity, need for admiration, and lack of empathy.

Narcissistic Dating

In the early stages of a relationship the Narc comes across as confident, charming, attentive and loving.

In fact, he worships the ground you walk on. You just can’t believe your luck.

This guy is just too good to be true.

And there ladies, is your Aha! moment.

Your first red flag.

This guy IS too good to be true!

It will be a whirlwind romance of his orchestration.

He will tell you that he loves you and soon begins making plans for your ‘happy ever after' ’life together that exists only in his fantasy world.

He has no real intention of ever delivering on his promises.

Narcissistic Traits

Narcissistic Personality Disorder is a Cluster B personality disorder.

Therefore, it is not uncommon for a narcissist to exhibit traits that are prevalent in the other personality disorders as there is often some degree of overlap.

A narcissist typically exhibits a lack of:

  • Empathy
  • Accountability
  • Compassion
  • Remorse

They also display many of the following characteristics:

  • Self centred / self absorbed
  • Selfish
  • Grandiose
  • Arrogant
  • Conceited
  • Vain
  • Envious
  • Manipulative
  • Controlling
  • Deceitful
  • Exploitative
  • Reckless
  • Impulsive
  • Insensitive
  • Impatient
  • Cruel

Further Reading On Narcissism

Narcissistic Personality Disorder Symptoms

Narcissistic Personality Disorder sufferers can be arrogant, self centred, demanding, manipulative, cocky and lacking empathy for others. With an inflated sense of their own importance they have a deep need for admiration

Narcissistic Personality Disorder In Men

Narcissistic men can totally destroy your life. They are manipulative, self absorbed and lack empathy for anyone else. If you're dating a guy who thinks it's "all about me" then you should get out fast. He is capable of destroying your sanity as well as your bank balance!

Breaking Up With A Narcissistic Man

The hardest part of breaking up with a narcissistic man can be the utter lack of comprehension.

What happened to the charming man who swept me off our feet?

Who is this monster standing before me?

Was it something I did?

What if I’d done things differently?

The list is endless.

Obsessing about the breakup is an unnecessary drain on your emotions.

In truth, dating a narcissist is emotionally exhausting.

You are trying to make sense of the nonsensical.

Stop analysing every detail because none of it will ever make any sense to you.

Narcissists do not behave rationally.

Therefore, you cannot possibly hope to derive a rational explanation from an irrational situation.

Surviving A Narcissistic Relationship

Here are a few parting words of encouragement:

  • Know Your Self Worth – If you don’t value yourself then he never will.
  • Set Your Boundaries - and stick to them. If you repeatedly allow him to cross your boundaries do you honestly believe that is an incentive for him to stop?
  • Actions Speak Louder Than Words – The way someone behaves reveals far more about them, than what they actually say. The Narc knows exactly what you want to hear. He is full of false promises that he simply has no intention of carrying out. He simply can’t you see. You are dating a narcissistic man!

Disclaimer

Please note that this hub is not intended for use as a source of professional, psychological or medical advice but is provided solely for informational purposes.

Readers are advised to seek the services of competent professionals in these fields.