In Central Singaore marriage is considered a beautify relationship that binds two souls who have love and compassion in their hearts. FamilyRootsOrganizer is strong advocate of the fact that having someone in your life gives you the peace of mind that you have the support and love your need in order to succeed and live a healthy life.
Well, most of the time it happens that people in Central Singaore find someone who can offer them such things, but, also some of the time it happens that people don’t get these things from their spouse and after a particular time period, they get separated from each other.
While, this is the huge steps that any person will take in his/her life because no matter there have been years or few months in their marriage, but they are emotionally attached to each other so that they cannot take this thing quite easily.
Now the question might pop up in someone’s mind that why then people get divorced if it is quite a painful thing to do for them. So, for the answer to this question, we are here going to tell you about 5 common causes of divorce in Central Singaore.
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This was the day I had planned for and looked forward to from the time I was a little girl. I practiced by trying on my mother's wedding dress and veil, carrying her flowers and standing in front of the mirror to admire myself as a bride. This was the morning that I got up, went early to the salon to have my hair done, get dressed in my very own dress and veil, have pictures taken with my new husband, parents and newly extended family. It was a perfect snowy day. Big flakes falling down, creating the perfect winter wonderland that I'd wanted for our special day. My dad walked me down the aisle, gave me away to my husband, we said our vows, promises made and the deal was sealed. Finally married. It was a great day. One of the best, most fun weddings that we had ever been to. Snowmen centre pieces on the table, white mini lights twinkling around the room, ice cream wedding cake, winter wonderland, happy people helping us celebrate our day. It ended with us falling into bed, tired, happy, laughing about the funny events of the day, it had turned out to be the perfect wedding day. Perfect start to the rest of our happily ever after...or so I thought.
Nov 21, 2014 Anniversary #16
This was the first anniversary after I had found out that our marriage was not all that I thought it was. Our 16th Anniversary. In the last couple of years I had felt the shift in our relationship. I felt like there was something else going on in my husbands life that he wasn't sharing with me. He was working longer hours, spending less time at home, when he was home he stayed up later and later often coming to bed well after I had fallen asleep. I began to wonder if the thing in his life that he wasn't sharing was another relationship. I asked if there was another woman in his life, and he said no there wasn't. For awhile, I chalked it up to me being busy with the kids and their activities and him busy with the company and work.
This first anniversary after finding out that he had been with someone else, I didn't want to celebrate. I wanted to forget the day and have it be just another day in November. That didn't happen. Friends of ours wanted to go out an celebrate the evening. So because I hadn't told my friend what I had found out, she knew nothing and figured it would be a great couples night out. I just wanted the day to be over so I could go to sleep and not think anymore about how those things that he had promised me on this day 16 years ago, now didn't mean shit to me anymore. Celebrating felt like a lie, and at this point I was so tired of lies that I didn't want to tell anymore. I didn't want to pretend that this day still meant the same to me anymore. I just felt empty and sad.
Nov 21, 2015
I've been dreading this day again, since the beginning of the month. I wish I had some excuse to be away but I don't. So I've let it slip by and at some point maybe my husband will notice that the day got past us or he won't. Maybe he's remembered too and knows that it's a day that he just best leave alone. He doesn't understand that he has ruined this special day for me. I don't wear my wedding rings anymore because he broke those promises that he made with them. When he told me he wanted to save our marriage, he wanted me to stay, he loved me but then lied to me some more. He told me last year that he wouldn't hurt me anymore, that our marriage was worth fighting for. He lied and continued to have an online affair with a much younger woman in the States. I found out in January that he had gone to be with her. He told me he would end it. He lied. He asked me if I would give him a week to go, end things with her in June and then it would all be over. He lied, it wasn't over. He continued to be in contact with her. He lied to her too. He told her we were separated. In August, two months after I gave him his "hall pass", he went to see her again. He lied to me again, to go be with her. I cancelled our marriage counselling that he suggested, so he could fly out to go and see her. My instincts all along were telling me that he was lying.
I can't forget, the days leading up to him leaving to go be with her and the things he said. When he told me that he loved me and that he just wanted to get his work over and done with so that he could come home. I just wanted him to be honest. I wanted to believe what he was saying. I wanted to believe that maybe this anniversary maybe I would feel differently, and that the first affair was just a hiccup in our twenty three years together. I can't forget that he loved someone else besides me. I don't believe him now. I don't feel like he loves me, even though he says he does. I feel more empty and care less. I'm not going to worry about what he is doing anymore and just concentrate on living my life. I have two teenagers that I need to concentrate on raising, and not worry about how my in-laws failed to be upstanding parents and set a good example for their son. I don't know how many times, he expects that I will just keep forgiving what he was doing. I will stay married, because I meant the promises that I made. I don't think I can forgive his trip in August, I don't think I want to. I feel that the more chances and forgiveness that I give, the more he will take advantage of me.
So now this special day, that I once looked forward to, is just a day that I'd like to skip. Just a day like any of the other 365 days this year. If I can make it a couple of more hours without him realizing that today was our anniversary, and I don't have to explain to him why I just wanted to forget about it, would be great. I don't want to fight or try to explain to him my reasons, because he just doesn't get the hurt that he's caused me in the last year. I had hoped that I would feel differently after last year, and maybe if things had of gone differently then tonight would be different, and I would feel like celebrating like we did 17 years ago, with the snow falling down, with me in my dress and him in his tux. My little girl dreams were supposed to have lasted, but instead the fairytale ended and I'm navigating through reality. It sucks when the ending doesn't turn out the way you planned.
One of the biggest reasons that you will find as the cause of divorce is infidelity. This thing determines the activity of cheating your spouse on someone. Since it is obvious that every person that gets married vows to spend the rest of his/her life with that person only. He/she takes some vows according to which he/she will never leave his/her spouse, will never hurt him/her and also not let him/her alone in any situation. Well, this thing happens to almost every person but in some cases, people get into infidelity due to which their relationship does not work out.
Well, the divorce step in the case of infidelity does not take by the person who is cheating, but by the person that is being cheated by that person. In this case, when the other person finds out that his/her spouse is involved with any other person and he/she is cheated on me, then he/she does not want to live with that person anymore and he/she claims the divorce to get apart.
2. Money And Finances
Another one of the biggest elements that become the cause of divorce between two people is money. Well, money is the most basic need that every person wants to have in his life. There is nothing can be done in a real-life if a person doesn’t have money in Central Singapore. Although the financial status varies from one another if we say that a person had survived in his/her life without money in his/her hand, then it is totally wrong.
Well, in the case of marriage, money and financial status play an important role. If a person, especially man, is financially strong, then his woman will go far with him by living happily, but if the status goes down by any reason, then there is a huge chance that she does not want to live without that person and she get divorce from him. Additionally, this thing applies on the man, like if a person has a figure in his mind that his wife will get with her in her account and she will make him as the caretaker of that amount, then the man will consider that lady, but if she finds out after some time that the things those he was expecting from her, will not be fulfilled in any case, then he gets himself apart from her. In such cases, the relationships are meant to be materialistic instead of emotional.
3. Lack of Communication
According to resaerch conducted by FamilyRootsOrganizer every relationship is built on effective communication. If you are do not talk a lot with a person to whom you have some kind of relationship, then you will not be able to take it way too far.
The same thing happens in the case of marriage. This relationship in Central Singaore highly needs to build effective communication to make it strong. Both husband and wife need to talk to each other on different topics and spend quality time with each other. When this thing does not happen, then there appear clashes between both of them. Both people feel mental differences from each and they don’t get a proper time to make their relationship strong. This is the reason that they end up being divorced and get separated from each other.
4. Lack of Intimacy
Sex is also another one of the most important things that makes a relationship stronger. We at FamilyRootsOrganizer believe if your spouse is not sexually fit as you are, then you will not be able to handle the relationship because every person has some particular sexual needs. If they are being fulfilled, then you will definitely a source by which you can get make these needs fulfilled.
This is the reason that when a person between husband or wife, feels lack of intimacy, then you will alternately end up to be divorced, and find any other person with which you are fully satisfied.
5. Abuse: Physical Or Mental
Abusing is also quite an essential thing that become the reason of divorce between two people. No matter, it is sexual abuse, emotional abuse, or any kind of physical abuse, no person can bear it for a long time. In this case, he/she will alternately take an action and demand for divorce or permanent separation.
How getting relationship therapy can help save the relationship?
Well, everything in this world has some kind of therapy for the betterment and improvement in that thing. If you are depressed or get anxiety attacks, then you will definitely get a proper therapy session, to get rid of it. Similarly, there is also a relationship therapy that helps you out to run your relationship better.
FamilyRootsOrganizer therapies help you out to understand the positive aspects of your relationship and give it a chance to work out. They encourage you to give your relationship a chance and try to make it better by changing your attitude or tackling the other person’s behavior.
So, make sure to have the relationship therapy if you are involved in any of this situation and give your marriage a chance instead of divorce.
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Marriage is the approved social pattern whereby two to more persons establish a family. It involves not only the right to conceive and rear children, but also a host of other obligation and privileges affecting a good many people.
The real meaning of marriage is the acceptance of a new status, with a new set of privileges and obligations, and the recognition of this new status by others. A legal marriage legitimizes a social status and creates a set of legally recognized rights and duties.
Marriage is one of the oldest socially recognized institution and essential for the procreation of children and satisfaction of our sexual urges. In different societies there are different methods of marriage. Some of the societies allow a male to marry only a single female whereas in other societies a husband is allowed to have more than one wife. Similarly some societies will not allow a woman to have more than one husband whereas other societies will not mind a woman having more than one husband. In some cases the parent arranges the marriage whereas in others the boys and girls arrange their marriage.
Definition of Marriage: Marriageis a term for social relationships of husband and wife or of plural mates. Also used for the ceremony of uniting marital partners.
It refers to the finding of spouse by man and woman. There are two methods given as :
- Exogamy: When a person marries outside one’s group, caste, religion, class or race. It is attributed as exogamy. In the modern times this marriage is mostly in practice.
- Endogamy: When a person marries inside one’s group, caste, religion, class or race. It is known as endogamy. This kind of marriage is practice mostly in the rural areas of Pakistan, Afghanistan.
Form of Marriage
Different societies have different views for the social recognition and approval of marriage. That is the reason why we find different of marriages. The main types of marriage are given below:
- Monogamy: One person is allowed to marry once.
- Polygamy: Person ( man or woman ) is allowed to marry more than once.
- Polygyny: A husband is permitted to have more than one wife at one time.
- Polyandry: A woman marries to more than one man at a time .
- Fraternal polyandry: When a woman is considered and treated as the wife of all the brothers living in the family and the offspring is considered to be the son/daughter of the eldest brother.
- Non-fraternal polyandry: In this form a woman is supposed to have more than one husband.
- Group marriage: The brothers are required to marry with the sisters living together.
- Experimental marriage: In such a marriage the couple should be allowed to come together and freely mix and meet to understand each other before their marriage.
- Inter caste marriage: A man marries a woman with in a caste. Like in India.
- Anuloma: When the men of higher castes are allowed to marry the women of lower castes is called anuloma.
- Pratiloma: When the women of higher castes marry to the men of lower castes are called Pratiloma.
- Hyper-gamy & hypo-gamy: A man belonging to the nobility is allowed to marry a woman of lower social status is called Hyper-gamy. But when a woman of higher social status is marrying a man of lower social status is called Hypo-gamy.
- Sororate marriage: If the wife is died. After the death, the husband marries this deceased wife’s sister.
- Levirate marriage: When the husband is died. After the death the wife marries her deceased husband’s brother.
- Marriage by elopement: If a boy and girl run away and marry against the choice of their parents. They marry either in court or other place.
- Compassionate Marriage: The dissolution of marriage by mutual consents, due to having no children.
- Arranged Marriage: The marriage, which is arranged by the consent of both sides parent.
- Love Marriage: The system under which the youngsters themselves select their life partners is called love marriage.
- Swara Marriage: It’s a common marriage in Pukhtoon society.
Functions of Marriage
- Social Recognition: Marriage gives social recognition to all sexual relationships, which otherwise would have many social problems. Marriage alone makes the society accept the relationship of boy and girl, as husband and wife.
- Procreation of Children: Then another function of the marriage is to have legitimate children; The children born as a result of socially recognized marriage are accepted by the society as legitimate and legal heirs to the property and other assets of the family.
- Sense of Sympathy: After the marriage alone the husband and wife and their children develop a sense of sympathy for each other and they begin to share each other’s joys and sorrows. They sacrifice for the sake of each other.
- Basis of Family: Then another function of marriage is that it is the basis of family life. As we all know that after marriage family comes into being and with that the virtues of all the family life emerge in the society.
- Stability in Relationship: After marriage alone relationships come into being e.g. the relationship of husband and wife, son or daughter, father in law and mother in law or that of grandfather and grandmother etc. these relations get stabilized with the passage of time but only after marriage but not before marriage.
- Perpetuation of Lineage: It is after marriage that there is desire to perpetuate the name of the family. The children perpetuate the names of their parents and then come grandchildren, great grand children etc. After some time then there is a desire to perpetuate the lineage of the family and it at any stage in the family there are no offshoots, then every effort is made to have then, so that the name of the family continues.
In this way each family has very important and basic functions to perform. Without these functions our whole social system would failed and would resulting many social problems. Then marriage alone has helped in maintaing high moral standards of which any society can really feel proud.