Have been trying to resolve the issues between your parents? Are you unable to understand and meet the demands of your partner that is causing issues? Are you going through a toxic relationship which is causing mental and physical problems? Is it getting hard for you to manage your relationship with your friends in Telok Ayyer because of busy routine?
Well, you are not the only one dealing with these problems in Telok Ayyer. There are many people who are going through the same phase. You will be surprised to know that it is the main cause of depression and stress in many people. However, an important thing you need to understand is that mistake happens from both sides and you have to resolve them together.
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What happens most of the time is that after suffering for so many years by the hands of someone close, dear, or loved ones; our way of behaving with others and overall attitude, gets a bit aggressive and loud towards small things and issues. We start to react harshly over normal things and when we get a reaction from others, we end up with feeling that no one understand us and everyone is trying to hurt us, but in reality it is our behavior that is causing all the disturbance. Don’t consider it just for romantic relationship but it can be between you and your parents, siblings, and friends. However, there is also no doubt that romantic relationship failure gives us the biggest heartaches.
Marriage is the approved social pattern whereby two to more persons establish a family. It involves not only the right to conceive and rear children, but also a host of other obligation and privileges affecting a good many people.
The real meaning of marriage is the acceptance of a new status, with a new set of privileges and obligations, and the recognition of this new status by others. A legal marriage legitimizes a social status and creates a set of legally recognized rights and duties.
Marriage is one of the oldest socially recognized institution and essential for the procreation of children and satisfaction of our sexual urges. In different societies there are different methods of marriage. Some of the societies allow a male to marry only a single female whereas in other societies a husband is allowed to have more than one wife. Similarly some societies will not allow a woman to have more than one husband whereas other societies will not mind a woman having more than one husband. In some cases the parent arranges the marriage whereas in others the boys and girls arrange their marriage.
Definition of Marriage: Marriageis a term for social relationships of husband and wife or of plural mates. Also used for the ceremony of uniting marital partners.
It refers to the finding of spouse by man and woman. There are two methods given as :
- Exogamy: When a person marries outside one’s group, caste, religion, class or race. It is attributed as exogamy. In the modern times this marriage is mostly in practice.
- Endogamy: When a person marries inside one’s group, caste, religion, class or race. It is known as endogamy. This kind of marriage is practice mostly in the rural areas of Pakistan, Afghanistan.
Form of Marriage
Different societies have different views for the social recognition and approval of marriage. That is the reason why we find different of marriages. The main types of marriage are given below:
- Monogamy: One person is allowed to marry once.
- Polygamy: Person ( man or woman ) is allowed to marry more than once.
- Polygyny: A husband is permitted to have more than one wife at one time.
- Polyandry: A woman marries to more than one man at a time .
- Fraternal polyandry: When a woman is considered and treated as the wife of all the brothers living in the family and the offspring is considered to be the son/daughter of the eldest brother.
- Non-fraternal polyandry: In this form a woman is supposed to have more than one husband.
- Group marriage: The brothers are required to marry with the sisters living together.
- Experimental marriage: In such a marriage the couple should be allowed to come together and freely mix and meet to understand each other before their marriage.
- Inter caste marriage: A man marries a woman with in a caste. Like in India.
- Anuloma: When the men of higher castes are allowed to marry the women of lower castes is called anuloma.
- Pratiloma: When the women of higher castes marry to the men of lower castes are called Pratiloma.
- Hyper-gamy & hypo-gamy: A man belonging to the nobility is allowed to marry a woman of lower social status is called Hyper-gamy. But when a woman of higher social status is marrying a man of lower social status is called Hypo-gamy.
- Sororate marriage: If the wife is died. After the death, the husband marries this deceased wife’s sister.
- Levirate marriage: When the husband is died. After the death the wife marries her deceased husband’s brother.
- Marriage by elopement: If a boy and girl run away and marry against the choice of their parents. They marry either in court or other place.
- Compassionate Marriage: The dissolution of marriage by mutual consents, due to having no children.
- Arranged Marriage: The marriage, which is arranged by the consent of both sides parent.
- Love Marriage: The system under which the youngsters themselves select their life partners is called love marriage.
- Swara Marriage: It’s a common marriage in Pukhtoon society.
Functions of Marriage
- Social Recognition: Marriage gives social recognition to all sexual relationships, which otherwise would have many social problems. Marriage alone makes the society accept the relationship of boy and girl, as husband and wife.
- Procreation of Children: Then another function of the marriage is to have legitimate children; The children born as a result of socially recognized marriage are accepted by the society as legitimate and legal heirs to the property and other assets of the family.
- Sense of Sympathy: After the marriage alone the husband and wife and their children develop a sense of sympathy for each other and they begin to share each other’s joys and sorrows. They sacrifice for the sake of each other.
- Basis of Family: Then another function of marriage is that it is the basis of family life. As we all know that after marriage family comes into being and with that the virtues of all the family life emerge in the society.
- Stability in Relationship: After marriage alone relationships come into being e.g. the relationship of husband and wife, son or daughter, father in law and mother in law or that of grandfather and grandmother etc. these relations get stabilized with the passage of time but only after marriage but not before marriage.
- Perpetuation of Lineage: It is after marriage that there is desire to perpetuate the name of the family. The children perpetuate the names of their parents and then come grandchildren, great grand children etc. After some time then there is a desire to perpetuate the lineage of the family and it at any stage in the family there are no offshoots, then every effort is made to have then, so that the name of the family continues.
In this way each family has very important and basic functions to perform. Without these functions our whole social system would failed and would resulting many social problems. Then marriage alone has helped in maintaing high moral standards of which any society can really feel proud.
In all these situations, after back to back failed relationship issues and suffering from heartaches, you end up feeling mentally unstable. You find hard time in coping up with your daily routine or you simply cannot stop thinking negative about the world, its people, and whatever is happening around you in a negative manner.
What you can do in this regard?
Well, you need someone there for you to help you coping with the anxiety, depression, and this continuous sour of feeling down and dismayed. YOU NEED US!
“We are the best relationship therapists in the world to help you dealing with general and severe relationship issues caused by yours or others’ actions”.
Relationship therapy that’s also known as couples therapy, marriage, therapy, or relationship issues therapy; is an attempt to help you make an improvement in your relationships, specifically romantic ones, by resolving conflicts, issues, and misconception, occurred due to mistakes and misunderstandings.
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There is no exact or required time to ask for and get relationship therapy until you find yourself in a mess that requires to be cleaned. Moreover, when you don’t want the problem to get worse, you need an expert advice, a helping hand, to go through the conflict and resolve it without damaging your relationship.
• Before and After a Marriage In Telok Ayyer :
Moreover, you can ask for a relationship therapy before and after your marriage because it is a legal relationship and failed marriages won’t only cause depression and anxiety in the spouse, but it can even become the cause of you losing all of your income while competing in a family court against your spouse while filing for Divorce/Separation.
• When You Want To End A Relationship In A Less-Disturbing Way:
Moreover, you can also ask for a relationship therapy when you feel so nagged and downed by a failed infidel relationship. When you don’t want your mental health to fall apart and you also don’t want to end the relationship like this. The responsible behavior is that even if you both don’t mean to stay together, still finish the relationship in a way that won’t be toxic for anyone of you.
• When You See Your Kid Is Suffering From Mental Issues Because of the Conflicts Between You Two:
Furthermore, if you have been into a relationship where your kids are being suffered due to the conflicts between you and your partner, they will get mentally disrobed. Remember, you both are special for each other and watching other suffer is a suffering for yourselves. Even if you don’t show it to them, kids are sensitive and sharp, they sense the tension in the atmosphere and feel it to the end. Most of the time, instead of talking about it, they start getting isolated and here is when the overall problem starts. Here, again you need help from an expert therapist to help your kid coming back to his or her track. It doesn’t matter that your all kids would suffer the same, however the sensitive one requires your help the most.
• When You Have Suffered Through an Abusive Relationship
A toxic relationship, either it gives you sexual abuse, emotional abuse, or physical abuse; it leaves some after effects on you and you start to take things in a very different way which most of the time is not healthy. Here you need to talk to expert therapists on your ex-relationship and the problems associated to it. Remember, it is not end of your life. The life never ends until you die. Therefore, one toxic relationship doesn’t mean you should stop asking for love. However, before getting into involved with someone else, you will have to get rid of all the abusiveness in your veins and heart caused by it. This is when you need to go to a relationship therapist so that you can accept and start your new relation in a better and healthier manner.
• When you need Serious Mental Help:
Most of the time a suffering through Communication Problems Sex and Sexuality, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), Adjustment issues, and Bipolar Disorder (BPD) requires serious and immediate help or else the after-effects can be worst and require a huge time in resolving issues. This can end up in failed marriages, failed relationships, and successful attempts of suicide. When you don’t want this to happen, you need to bring the sufferers to us and let our experts in Telok Ayyer deal with them.
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Difficult to Escape Relationships
Some people have a habit of getting themselves into relationships they can't escape from. Things may have taken the turn for the worst and due to the their partners possessive nature find it very difficult to break up or end the relationship. In these situations attempting to break up may result in, threats, embarrassing scenes in public, acts of violence of even vandalism.
Some men may not have the heart to shout "Get out of my life you crazy ***** "
I think if the warning signs for possessive women are spotted earlier, it will be easier to deal with later on down the line. This kind of thing can really lower a man's self esteem and can leave one feeling week and helpless. It can also jeopardize future relationships by making you extra sensitive to your partners actions.
Some people are pressured into believing that themselves (the victim) is actually in the wrong. They will start to believe that if they do the right things in a relationship there will be no need for outrageous acts of jealously. This seems more like brain washing and is obviously not the ingredients of a healthy relationship.
When it comes to physical abuse from a possessive women it can be very awkward for a man who would be physically stronger than a woman in most cases. A man may need to retain himself from lashing out and causing a women physical harm or injury due to the difference in strength and size. If a women attacks a man like a wild beast it may be difficult to restrict her without some form a painful restraint whether it be twisting the arms in a painful way or a slap across the face. Many men will not want to take that risk.
The tell tale signs
1. Wants to read your text messages frequently - First of all that is a complete lack of trust, secondly she needs to understand privacy. Just because most people are reluctant to show their partners their messages doesn't mean they are hiding anything. Everyone needs privacy to some extent.
2. Threats - Nobody should ever threaten somebody for leaving a relationship, it's a sign of mental insecurity, get out off there because it will get worse.
3. Outbursts in public - Others do not need to know about your problems, this is similar to a threat. i.e. If you try to break up and I will make noise in public and embarrass you!
4. Physical abuse - Most women are not as strong as men so in some cases an object or even a weapon may be used when boiled up. Normally a woman or man will have let off verbal abuse and this stage, but physical abuse in anyway is not acceptable. Don't think of this as a one-off because it will escalate.
5. Physically blocking your exit - By restricting your freedom this shows obsession to some extent, especially when it's met with physical violence when you try to force yourself out.
6. Destruction of possessions - Similar to a threat. Normally if a woman is having a hard time with you she wouldn't be interested in smashing up your brand new flat-screen TV or cracking your Smartphone screen. This is a time to escape.
7. Keeping you hostage- similar to no. 5. you may be locked in a room while she holds on to the key or blocking all possible exits demanding answers.
8. Abuse any of your female contacts - Jealousy, some women may not be able to accept the fact that you have female friends or associates and may go behind your back to try and spoil the relationships.
9. Forcing you to give up female friends - A big no, enough trust should have been built in a relationship for you to comfortably accept the fact that one can have friends of the opposite sex.
10. Being made to call at a certain time every day - What, is she a parole officer keeping tabs on you?. Where's the flexibility, freedom? A big tell tale sign.
Of course the above can be apply for the opposite - Possessive guy, and other people may have some further suggestions or tips for spotting these type of people.
Weather it's the man or the woman, domestic violence can be a very big issues and can lead to serious injuries or even death in some cases. Understand that it's not the attacker doing the killing, it's often the attack killed in self defense and often hard to prove to the police. Different countries and very different rules and rules to other countries. We don't all have the infamous "Stand your ground" law.
A lot of these so called possessive behaviours stem from emotions due to problems in the relationship.
For example, for most of the crazy partners you come across, the crazyness may normally arise after things have gone wrong in the relationship. If you look back at the beginning of the relationship you will probably be thinking "How can a person change so much?". In that respect I may be difficult to say if the crazy behaviour is actually part of their personality or simply influenced by emotion.
A broken heart can turn people in something they are not, e.g. a criminal or a killer. However at the end of the day, law is law no matter what provoked your emotions.
In Japan you will rarely see couples arguing in public, they tend to do their best, hold it in and wait until they get home. However in China I have witnessed many an argument or fight in public, with the women often physically attacking the man. Korea seemed to be much similar to China where people may let us their emotions and feeling no matter where and who is around. The Japanese tend to be a little more concerned about making a disturbance in public, but not all Japanese though. Very occasionally you will see somebody just lose it in public.
- A guy glanced at another woman's legs while with his girlfriend. She slapped him in public and made him write an apology letter to her, with an explanation that he wont do it again.
- Some women have secretly set up good GPS tracking on their spouses smart phone and sync'd it to their own so they can track the whereabouts's any time
- I know a case where a couple has an argument in a bar and the boyfriend decided to take a bus alone by himself. The girlfriend actually drove her car in front of the bus and forced it to stop while she exited the car, entered the bus and demanded him to get into her car.
- Some men I know are not allowed to keep secret diaries, safe (boxes) etc. and their spouse must share the same Email passwords.